35 Funny Tweets Everyone Should’ve Read This Week (May 30, 2026)

My weekend is here, and it’s full of chores. I have to assemble two chairs for our patio, which I’ve been putting off for no reason other than feeling lazy. I’ve spent most of today scrolling Twitter with the thought of those unassembled chairs sitting in the back of my mind.

I know exactly how this is going to go. I’ll finally put one together, decide I’ve done enough manual labor for the day, and use the second unopened chair as a temporary side table.

That’s future Nate’s problem.

I’m pretty sure assembling them would take twenty minutes, which somehow makes it easier to avoid.

Until then, I’ve been doing what any responsible adult would do and distracting myself with funny tweets. These were some of the best ones I came across this week.

1.

via @andyreed

2.

via @FCardamenis

3.

via @django

4.

via @citehchris

5.

via @poisonjr

6.

via @coolmathgame_

7.

via @bubblegumbword

8.

via @Nithya_Shrii

9.

via @RageDisease

10.

via @itsme_urstruly

11.

via @MattsBestTweets

12.

via @itsme_urstruly

13.

via @amos_dulex

14.

via @ClaireMPLS

15.

via @gracefishlove

16.

via @FrickinDelanie

17.

via @campplehead

18.

via @fruitpibble

19.

via @whereicy

20.

via @RawbertBeef

21.

via @_pressuredrop_

22.

via @AlanFelyk

23.

via @roryofffilm

24.

via @benedictsred

25.

via @E1 podcast

26.

via @Not_The_Rule

27.

via @superkeara

28.

via @t3ss10101010

29.

via @ObaOsama

30.

via @LloydLegalist

31.

via @sackbratz

32.

via @Timstillherelol

33.

via @kryzazzy

34.

via @realBoneDuck

35.

via @MonkeysMarch