‘The Secret Lives Of Mormon Wives’ Needs To Stop Trying To Make DadTok Happen

When The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives first premiered in September 2024, it was a show about a group of young Mormon mothers and wives with goals to break the mold of the LDS Church through their viral TikTok content. Of course, Taylor Frankie Paul‘s soft-swinging scandal and subsequent domestic violence arrest brought even more attention to the show, which ultimately made these young wives—who were raised to marry, reproduce, and serve their husbands—the breadwinners within their families.

With the women pulling a 180 on the misogynistic ideologies that had been ingrained into their beings, it’s no surprise that there’s been a bit of a learning curve for their husbands. We watched Zac Affleck berate Jen Affleck when she attended a Chippendales show with the girls in Season 1. While she was initially going to leave MomTok to follow him to medical school, the public backlash, paired with their desire to keep their family together (and a third baby on the way), turned Zac into husband of the year come Season 2. Since his first season on TV, Zac has certainly shown improvement (with the exception of his ambush on Whitney Leavitt in the Season 4 finale); however, others have done the opposite. Jordan Ngatikaura, husband of Jessi Draper, was once an unproblematic background character, but when she confessed to her affair with Marciano Brunette and accused Jordan of emotional abuse in Season 3, it was like an animal was let out of its cage.

Suddenly, as of Season 4, Jordan has declared himself the “leader of DadTok,” which is essentially the husbands’ thirsty way of riding on the coattails of their wives’ success. Not only does he put down MomTok by claiming DadTok is “funnier,” but he also copycats every move they already made, from getting the guys to go on Vanderpump Villa, which the girls did before their first season aired, to playing another round of Truth Box, which caused drama among the ladies when they first invented it in Season 1. Layla Taylor said it best: “Jordan is such a wannabe MomTokker.”

Photo: Hulu

However, we can’t only blame Jordan for trying to make DadTok a thing since Hulu has been allowing it to happen over the last couple of seasons. Just look at the Season 3 reunion. DadTok didn’t only spend more than half of the episode on the stage, but the guys were also given the power to kick MomTok off the stage, so Dakota Mortensen wouldn’t have to face Taylor. Andy Cohen would never. The fact that this has been encouraged well into Season 3, with solo DadTok dinners, trips, and even confessionals, proves that Hulu is losing the plot. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is about the secret lives of Mormon WIVES — and it should stay that way. After all, these women didn’t come out swinging from the patriarchy only for their husbands and ex-husbands to get jealous and steal the spotlight.

Now, I will say there are some instances in which “DadTok” is essential. Mikayla Matthews and Jace Terry struggling with intimacy within their marriage? Jessi and Jordan working through her affair and deciding how they want to move forward in their relationship? Taylor figuring out how to co-parent with Dakota, a man she clearly still loves but can’t trust? Those are the kinds of open and honest conversations that helps reality TV thrive. While we cannot rid the men completely as they are important parts of MomTok’s lives, they should only ever act as supporting characters. Never should they be blatantly trying to overshadow the wives, or overproduce drama just to get a reaction and more screen time (looking at you, Dakota).

I say this with the exception of a few of the guys, including Conner Leavitt—who can do magic tricks in front of the camera for as long as he wants—stop trying to make DadTok happen. It’s never going to happen.

The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives is currently streaming on Hulu.