If an All-Star Game happens and no one cares, are the leagues ready to fix it?

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Karl-Anthony Towns #32 of Team Chuck and Evan Mobley #4 of Team Kenny go up for the opening tip off during the 74th NBA All-Star Game as part of NBA All-Star Weekend on Sunday, February 16, 2025 at Chase Center in San Francisco, California. The NBA All-Star Game has yet to find a way to motivate players or fans to invest themselves in the event in recent years. NBAE via Getty Images

The NBA is splitting up its All-Stars into two teams based on whether their last name starts with an even or odd letter in the alphabet: Team ACE versus Team BDF.

The NHL is going to have All-Stars ride miniaturized Zambonis around the ice instead of skating, to replicate the bumper cars at a 7-year-old’s birthday party.

The NFL is asking its Pro Bowlers to compete in a skills challenge in a schoolyard: Throw the ball through the tire swing, a fastest-man competition after 10 spins on the carousel, offensive linemen versus defensive linemen on a seesaw and a catch competition after shredding your hands on the monkey bars.

You believed me for a second, didn’t you? Because nothing is too crazy for an all-star format these days.

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