Bride walking with bridesmaids dressed in matching blush pink gowns.

Bride walking with bridesmaids dressed in matching blush pink gowns.

Actor performance of story events.

AITA for refusing to buy a new dress after the bride changed the color code 12 days before her wedding?

My college roommate Danielle is getting married on the 18th. The invite said "garden party attire, soft colors welcome" and nothing else. Back in August I (27F) found a light peach midi dress on sale for $85, sent her a picture, and she replied "perfect!!" with a bunch of hearts.

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Last Sunday a new message went out to every guest. Her photographer suggested a "cohesive palette," so now everyone has to wear dusty blue or sage. She linked a site where most dresses run $110 to $150. Peach is apparently too close to the bridesmaids, who are in blush.

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Mine was final sale, so I can't return it. I'm also already paying $260 for the hotel and my flight is booked.

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I messaged her privately, said congrats again and asked if I could wear the peach with a sage cardigan. I also offered to stand at the edge of group photos, or skip the big one entirely if that helps.

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She said a cardigan would look like I "didn't care," and that everyone else is making it work. When I told her, politely, that I can't spend another $120 on an outfit for one day, she said I'm "making it about me" and should think about whether I really want to come.

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I still want to go. I already RSVP'd, bought a gift off her registry and told her I'll respect whatever she decides. Now two friends from our group are telling me to just buy the dress to keep the peace.

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Am I wrong for not buying another dress?

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I bought an $85 peach. dress the bride approved. Twelve days before the wedding she switched the guest dress code to blue or sage and turned down my cardigan compromise.

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Bride and groom posing outdoors with a wedding bouquet.

Bride and groom posing outdoors with a wedding bouquet.

Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.

Alohafromthe808 OMG, what is with Brides today? It's ridiculous to expect guests to match. No one looks at their photos 15-years and thinks "Becky didn't follow the rules" but will hopefully have fond thoughts that everyone they loved were there to celebrate with them. Good luck.

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alleecmo Since when is there a color code for GUESTS?! Selecting colors us for the bridal party. Guests just need to be style appropriate, cocktail, formal, etc.

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CADreamn Just go and wear your dress. This is ridiculous.

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OperationWarm9602 The two so called friends can buy you a new dress then.

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LoudSoup8 She's already basically told you not to come in the original dress, with her "think about whether you really want to come" comment. I'm so sorry OP. I would cancel and take the airline credit. I think she will be salty if you show up outside of her (ridiculous, untimely) dress code.

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krissycole87⚫ 1d ago Tell her you cant afford it, wish her well, cancel your hotel and flight, and be glad you eliminated a "friend" who could care less about her friends & families budgets. I would not be keeping someone this self centered around in my life anyway.

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Woman wearing a flowing peach-colored dress.

Woman wearing a flowing peach-colored dress.

Representative only.

colleennewvine The photographer suggesting everyone has time, energy and budget to fall in line with a last-minute very limiting dress code is a big part of the problem - Are photographers the source of this nonsense notion that everyone who attends now is basically bridal party with strict color rules?

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stickbugszz She should teach "how to get everyone to drop out of your wedding 101."

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rjtnrva Skip it. How disrespectful of you as a guest and a friend.

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Ptownmama I'm have never heard of anything so ridiculous. The bride is approving the guests' attire? Is this something new because it sounds unhinged

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Actual-Bandicoot6947 Fitt that. Dictating the colours guests can wear is insane. She should be grateful you went along with it the first time. Wear your dress and have a great time. If she wants a "cohesive palette" she can hire actors who have access to a costume department.

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