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Gen X University Employee Urges Parents to Stop Booking Appointments for Their Adult Children: 'Let your kids grow up.'

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Gen X University Employee Urges Parents to Stop Booking Appointments for Their Adult Children: 'Let your kids grow up.'

A woman sitting at a table in front of a laptop comuter

Please let your adult kids in college do some adulting

OG GenX here. Work at a university. Also a notary. Yet again I got a phone call from the mother of a student - it's always the mom - asking to schedule a notary appointment for her child.

"Is your student over 18?" "Yes." "Please have the student reach out to me directly."

And again, all kinds of attitude from Mom because I won't let her organize her kid's life.

No, I'm not dealing with parents. Your little sweetums is a grown a adult and can send an email to schedule an appointment.

I do not understand parents today. When mine went to college, we chatted on the phone about once a week. They told me what they wanted me to know. I didn't have personal access to their grades. I was the

emergency contact but I didn't otherwise have access to their medical records. They're both now college graduates, homeowners, have spouses, and have given me the world's best grandkids. I did my job.

Never ever would I have thought to handle things for them like making appointments. And they never asked.

Maybe I'm just feeling extra grumpy today. But I swear to Dolly, just let your kids grow up.

kellyfaboo This has been happening forever and a day. My favorite incident from working as staff in academia was the parent who called to reset an account on a system students used to test into the right freshman mathematics course. It was buggy so sometimes sessions hung. She had the password and everything - I didn't need it but students did need to test to see if they could log in - and was pretending to be the student until she slipped.

"Oh, what's the student's current e-mail address. I need to make sure to forward the university's security guidelines. There is no password sharing allowed, even with parents. If you need access to student information the Office of the Dean of Students would be happy to help you understand what you can access and how to start that request process."

TeaEarlGrayHotSauce I agree kids eventually need to start owning the responsibilities in their life. I want to talk to my kids more than once a week while they're at college though. I'm really gonna miss those guys

Brandobaris_ I agree with you with regards to the parents. However, I just don't understand the kids. I moved five hours away and my mom helped me move. We unpacked my stuff. I gave her a kiss and that was it. I didn't see her again until Thanksgiving. I went and got a bank account. I figured out all the stuff that I needed to do on my own, or I asked my peers.

Part of me thinks it is the lack of struggle that a lot of these younger folks don't have in safe; being able to fail and not ruin their life. It is easy to be a helicopter parent and come in and fix it for them. That is one of the biggest things my wife in particular had to deal with. She wanted to be able to fix it for them. Because she did not have parents who would.

Driffter08 I manage a lot of new grads. It doesn't look good when hiring a kid out of school if your parents still run your life. I need to train up people to manage grumpy contractors and manage multiple millions of dollars of spending. How am I supposed to have confidence in this person if their parents still manage the young person's check book? You're only going to grow if you have the room to grow.

Snoo_6537 In the newsletter at the the beginning of the school year for my SEVENTH grader they communicated that they want us parents to stand down. They expect the students to go to the teachers themselves if they need extra help, extra time, if they're looking for extra credit etc. At first I was nervous but the first quarter just ended and my son's grades were great and he enjoys school more this year than he has in a while. We can't wipe their forever, nor should we want to.

Technical Turn3497 Why not just schedule the appointment? You know, some kids are so busy they need all the help they can get, and there is nothing wrong with getting that help from parents. Kids are working much harder these days than they did in our time. Be charitable and understanding before you judge them.

borgman_a "Kids are working much harder these days" As someone who has worked at an R1 university since 2010, and attended the same R1 university from 1993-1998 as a student... no they aren't.

Slow-Complaint-3273 We very intentionally taught our kids how to make appointments and how to follow up with administrators. We are always available to answer questions and offer questions they may want to ask the representative, but the actual leg work is on them. Our eldest is now a sophomore in college, and is baffled at how passive and disengaged so many of their classmates are. They despise ChatGPT for how dependent they see people becoming.

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