You’re saying these Long Island towns wrong — even the ones you think you know: ‘Butchered’

This will have you spit out your “cawffee.”

It’s a dead giveaway that someone isn’t from Long Island if they bungle how to pronounce local communities – but it turns out even 516 and 631 lifers are doing it wrong.

Teams like the New York Islanders and Long Island Ducks even post videos of out-of-town players brutally mincing Wantagh, Patchogue and other Native-American names.

But you may not have to venture far to find folks messing up Massapequa and Ronkonkoma, which have been anglicized over the past few centuries. Their real pronunciations sound unrecognizable to the modern ear, according to former longtime Unkechaug Nation Chief Harry Wallace, an expert in Algonquian.

“Our language wasn’t written in the sense of being translated into English or French — the sound is what they’re trying to copy,” Wallace, based on on the island, told The Post.

He compared how Algonquian is the root base of many different Native American languages, some of which were spoken on Long Island, much like the Romance languages, such as French, Spanish, and Italian, all of which stem from Latin.

However, during colonial times, much was lost in translation because the European settlers “didn’t know how to spell,” especially with hard consonants like the letter “H,” which are vital to the Algonquian language, he added.

From there, readers would only see, but not hear, the real pronunciation. Ultimately, it turned into a telephone game that has been ongoing for a few hundred years.

Wallace recognizes that there’s no one official way to sound out some towns, such as Wantagh, which islanders say as “wan-tah.”

And the local way of saying Patchogue as “patch-hog” is pretty close to its origin, he said.

These, however, are some Native American-named local towns that even the most bona fide residents are getting wrong, according to Wallace.

Copiague

Townsfolk and the recorded voice on the Long Island Railroad alike sound out this Suffolk community as “co-peg,” but really it should be pronounced closer to “co-pi-ah-e” with a short “I” and long “E,” he explained.

“[Europeans] would elongate the A when they read it…and that’s all they would hear after,” Wallace added of what translates loosely to grove or forest.

Massapequa

The town that has caught the eye of President Trump over as it fights to keep its Chiefs team logo in the face of a state ban on Native American mascots isn’t straightforwardly pronounced “Mass-a-pequa,” said Wallace, who opposes the school using the name.

As with other Algonquin hard consonants, the real sound is “Mass-a-peek” without the open vowels at the end, he added, explaining that it means place of great water.

Cutchogue

Unlike Patchogue, residents aren’t remotely close to getting the pronunciation of the quiet North Fork escape spot on.

While it’s spoken today as “cutch-hog,” Wallace said the real way is “cutch-e-hoki,” spelled as “kecheahki.”

In the same vein as Massapequa, it translates to mean great place.

Setauket

Similar to Cutchogue, Setauket, spoken like Secaucus in New Jersey, is a world apart from its perceived pronunciation.

Wallace says it as “Se-tau-ah-ki” and added its definition is place of streams, something the north shore enclave by the Long Island Sound is known for.

Ronkonkoma

That’s right, Long Island’s showstopper that’s been a punchline on “How I Met Your Mother” and an Artie Lange monologue on an insufferable Yankees fan “has been butchered,” Wallace said.

Its prototypical “Ron-cahnk-ama” pronunciation — which Neil Patrick Harris projected on the LIRR 2 a.m. drunk train in the sitcom — should be “Ronkon-koman,” he explained.

The town name derives from its kettle lake, formed by the glacier that carved North America, which was sacred to its native population.

One translation for Ronkonkoma is “deep cavern place” in reference to the lake, which is tied to urban legends of hauntings and drownings attributed to a Native American-related curse — a story Wallace has explicitly called bunk on.