Victoria Beckham gets vulnerable on eating disorder amid public scrunity

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Victoria Beckham is a mainstay in the fashion world, music industry, and due to her marriage to soccer icon David Beckham, even more cameras were on her. It seems as though all eyes were on Victoria and how the public scrutiny about her weight ended up being detrimental to her livelihood at one point. In her Netflix docuseries, Victoria Beckham, the model, opens up about her issues with her body image under the spotlight.

“I don’t know what I saw when I looked in the mirror,” Victoria said in the docuseries now streaming on Netflix.“Was I fat? Was I thin? I don’t know. You lose all sense of reality. I was just very critical of myself. I didn’t like what I saw. It’s been a lot and that’s hard.”

Whether it was on a runway or at a concert for her role as Posh Spice in the iconic pop group The Spice Girls, Victoria became overwhelmingly aware of how she was perceived, which led her to have an eating disorder.

“I could control [how I was perceived] with clothing,” she explains. “I could control my weight. I was controlling it in an incredibly unhealthy way. When you have an eating disorder, you become very good at lying.”

She admitted that she was not honest with her parents during this time about how she was struggling with her body image.

Victoria Beckham opens up on how the public perceived her body

The Spice Girls disbanded officially in 2001, and she got married to David in 1999. Soon after came the birth of their four children: sons Brooklyn, 26, Romeo, 23, and Cruz, 20, and daughter Harper, 14.

During her pregnancy with Brooklyn, she said she began to hear variations of her Spice Girls name reflected in how her body was viewed,

“I’ve been everything from Porky Posh to Skinny Posh,” she said. “I mean, you know it’s been a lot, and that is hard. I had no control over what’s been written about me, pictures that were being taken, and I suppose I wanted to control that, you know, control it with the clothing.”

David came to Victoria's defense, sharing how "people felt it was OK to criticize a woman for her weight.”

"There were a lot of things happening on TV then that won’t happen now, that can’t happen now," he added.

During the docuseries, Victoria shared that there were many triggering moments that she had to relive.

“I mean, I touch on my family, I touch on the Spice Girls, the problems we’ve had with the business, you know, the money we’ve lost — there have been lots of triggers,” she explained to The Sunday Times. “I cried. Like I said, I haven’t seen the final edit, but yes, I did cry. It takes quite a lot to make me cry, but I did cry. You know, I’ve earned my place to show in Paris, I’ve earned the respect.”

While looking back at those times made her emotional, she still has a lot of love for the Spice Girls -- which consisted of Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice), Mel B (Scary Spice), Melanie Chisholm (Sporty Spice), and Emma Bunton (Baby Spice)-- she is grateful for the journey.