Michelle Obama tries so hard to play the victim that she instead provides comedy gold

It’s no coincidence that multimillionaire Michelle Obama is on a self-pity jag as she promotes her latest expensive coffee table memoir as her husband’s Democratic Party succumbs to its socialist fringe.

You see it everywhere. Democrat Marie Antoinettes moaning about their plight and the ingratitude of the serfs as the revolution devours their dominion.

For the former first lady, a week of softball interviews for her new $50 tome, “The Look” has been dominated by bizarre complaints about her time in the White House with Barack Obama.

She is rewriting history to claim bitterly that, as the first black first couple, “we didn’t get the grace that I think some other families have gotten.”

Who does she think she’s kidding? Martians?

Luxury or necessity?

Melania Trump would like a word. There was no grace in the daily savaging Donald Trump’s wife was subjected to in her first term in the White House. There were invasive questions about her marriage designed to damage it, dirty gossip packaged as news, xenophobic attacks on her accent and Slovenian origins. Even her Christmas decorations were slammed as ugly and cold.

Despite being a successful international model who always dressed impeccably, and without complaint, she was never asked to grace the cover of Vogue, while far frumpier first ladies who dressed like sofas were lavishly showcased in the fashion mag two or three times each. No wonder she has retreated into herself in her second term.

By contrast, it’s hard to remember another presidential couple so swooned over by the media as the Obamas, even by the standards of Democrat privilege. They were treated like Camelot Redux.

But Michelle Obama, with all her millions, is at such pains to portray herself as a victim that she inadvertently provides us with comedy gold while begging more questions than she explains.

She kicked off her book tour last week with an interview with Robin Roberts for an ABC News special, “Michelle Obama: The Style, The Power, The Look,” which featured her longtime stylist Meredith Koop, makeup artist Carl Ray, hairstylists Yene Damtew and Njeri Radway, and top designers Diane von Furstenberg, Jason Wu, Tracy Reese and Narciso Rodriguez.

You might think it would be hard to complain about getting dressed up with such a battalion of helpers. But Michelle finds a way. Otherwise people might start asking why she needs so many mansions.

She moans about having to have “a glam team, a trifecta,” in the White House to apply her makeup and dress her in designer threads “that fit . . . It feels like a luxury, but it was a necessity.”

Despite the personal hairdressers, she whines about having to smooth and color her hair to conform to a “standard” she resents.

“As women of color, the way our hair naturally grows out of our head, it’s beautiful, but if we struggle to make it look like the standard that means we are spending thousands of hours and lots of money straightening out what is naturally curly hair and that takes hours out of your life,” she said.

Carol Swain, the retired Vanderbilt University professor and conservative black author, had a sharp response; she posted a photo of herself looking elegant with naturally curly, naturally gray hair and a smile. Good humor is beautiful and takes no time.

Changing of the guard

In any case, no one forced Michelle to torture her hair into a silky Jennifer Aniston-style long bob. You can bet Aniston doesn’t wake up with Aniston hair, anyway. Women all over the world spend time on grooming, but it’s a choice. Men have to shave or fix up their beards every day, too, if they want to look moderately stylish. It’s called life as a social animal.

But most of us don’t have an army of hairdressers and makeup artists and fashion stylists at our beck and call.

Michelle’s complaints are so absurd you have to wonder what’s really behind it, and it doesn’t take too long to realize that whining and being gloomy is a fad for entitled leftist women so that nobody notices how privileged they are.

Nancy Pelosi sees the writing on the wall as Zohran “Tax the Rich” Mamdani and the new Jacobins take over. Having presided over the entrenched privilege of the octogenarian grifting class that has been the ruin of her party, the “speaker emeritus” has announced her retirement at age 85, just in the nick of time.

Gone are the halcyon days when she showed off her $24,000 Sub-Zero freezers stuffed with $13 ice creams in her San Francisco mansion at the peak of the pandemic, and had private hair salon visits when everyone else was locked down.

She wants to make off with her $140 million profits from her miraculously prescient stock portfolio before anyone notices.

Pelosi is too proud and too cunning to play the victim. But she’s an old hand at creating distractions to frame others for her own sins. She helped cripple Donald Trump’s first term when she controlled the House and manufactured his two impeachments.

She concocted the Jan. 6 plot aimed at taking out Trump and ensuring he could never again be a viable candidate, jailing his advisers, demonizing his supporters and locking the Republican Party out of office indefinitely. It didn’t work, but she did a lot of damage to the country in the process — and brought shame and discredit to her party.

With a straight face she told CNN last week that Trump is “just a vile creature. The worst thing on the face of the Earth.” She believes her role as patient zero of Trump Derangement will buy her protection from the Jacobins.

White people music

Liberal atheist podcaster Jennifer Welch, the epitome of AWFL (Affluent White Female Liberal), and the Democrats’ answer to Joe Rogan, has solved the problem by embracing it.

In video streamed from Mamdani’s victory party in Brooklyn last week, she gushed to fellow VIPs Mehdi Hasan and dog torturer Hasan Piker: “If the music was all white people in here right now, it would be boring as s–t.

“I’ve grown up in those circles . . . Americans have no culture except for multiculturalism, and we need to teach people how to embrace that. These crusty white people need to learn how to embrace it,” Welch said.

Welch is like the Red Guard in Mao’s China, eager to enforce correct thought on the recalcitrant victims of the moment — until it’s her turn.

They’re all petrified that the revolution in their party will eventually eat them. Michelle Obama’s hair woes are the least of their worries.