"I was doing it because of insecurity"- Terrence Howard tells Russell Brand why he participated in Hollywood's "hedonism"

American actor Terrence Howard reflected on his personal and spiritual journey during an appearance on the Stay Free with Russell Brand podcast. In a podcast clip shared to X on June 22, 2025, Howard explored the underlying layers of Hollywood’s glamorous façade and how his insecurities once drove him to participate in its "hedonism."

"I’ve partied. And most of the time that I’m partying and participating in hedonism, you know, I was judging myself and hating myself at the time […] When I started overindulging, I was doing it because of insecurity," Terrence Howard said.

Terrence Howard’s remarks came in response to Brand’s question about hedonism in the entertainment industry and how Howard, as someone who had "seen more than most", processed those experiences. Howard further shared that his desire to pursue acting stemmed from a deep emotional void.

"We all come into this business because of some hole we are trying to fill within ourselves," he stated.

He explained the psychological aspect of Hollywood’s hedonism, especially for those burdened by self-doubt. He noted that people elevated by fame often fall into self-sabotaging behavior, influenced by early conditioning that they were "imperfect" or "sinners". Indulgence, he explained, then became a way to confirm those beliefs.

However, Howard revealed that he had since worked to shift this mindset. He emphasized that by choosing to see himself as a "perfect reflection of God", he reclaimed agency over his actions and identity.

"And I take God's nature as a personal thing for myself. Whether it’s immodest for me to identify myself with the creator- I don’t care, because the creator told me that I was made in its image," Terrence Howard added.

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Terrence Howard opened up about turning down Marvin Gaye biopic, said he would cut his "lips off" if he had to kiss a man

Terrence Howard (Image via Getty Images)

In a conversation on the Club Random podcast with Bill Maher, released on April 28, 2025, Terrence Howard revealed that he once came close to portraying Marvin Gaye in a biopic. However, Howard ultimately turned down the opportunity to play the legendary R&B singer after learning details about Gaye’s personal life and sexuality.

"That would f**k me…I would cut my lips off. If I kissed some man, I would cut my lips off," he added, describing his reaction to the possibility of portraying a gay character on screen.

In the episode, the Empire star shared that his decision to back out came after a conversation with music icon Quincy Jones. According to Howard, it was Jones who confirmed rumors about Gaye’s sexuality for him.

"I was over at Quincy Jones’ house and I’m asking Quincy, ‘I’m hearing rumours that Marvin was gay’ and I’m like, ‘Was he gay?’…And Quincy’s like, ‘Yes,’" Howard explained.

Howard further revealed that once he had that confirmation, he felt he “could not” go through with the role.

During the podcast conversation, Howard also shared that it wasn’t the first time he had passed on a major music biopic. He had also turned down the opportunity to play Smokey Robinson—an offer that came directly from Robinson himself.

Howard called that decision the "biggest mistake" of his career but noted that he had already been in discussions with director Lee Daniels about the Marvin Gaye project at the time.

Bill Maher supported Howard’s original choice to prioritize the Marvin Gaye biopic over Smokey Robinson's role, calling Gaye’s life "much more interesting". Maher further stated that Howard "would’ve been perfect as Marvin Gaye," adding that his story was the one that needed "to be told."

However, despite the potential, Howard ultimately walked away from the biopic. He also emphasized that his discomfort wasn’t rooted in homophobia, but in his belief that he couldn’t fully commit to portraying a character whose experiences he didn’t personally understand.

"I can’t play that character 100 percent… I can’t surrender myself to a place that I don’t understand," Terrence Howard added.

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In December 2022, Terrence Howard announced that he planned to retire from acting, but has since appeared in several films and television shows like The Best Man: The Final Chapters and Crescent City. His upcoming work includes the film Cipher, which was reported to be filming in Kentucky.

Edited by Ameen Fatima