‘CLEARLY, Karen was ramping up for some big fight’: Mother of 5 regrets trying to rehome kittens after colliding with buyer named Karen and her relentless requests obsessive late-night questions and fake veterinary emergencies

Anyone who thinks “crazy cat people” (this is coming from me: a full adult who speaks to more strays than humans EVERY SINGLE DAY) are just a meme has never met a true aficionado of panic, paranoia, and unsolicited late-night text messages. The world is full of ordinary pet lovers, busy people just looking for a fuzzy accomplice, and then there is Karen, who elevates kitten shopping to a cross between an FBI sting operation and a hostage negotiation.

There are those for whom a reasonable deposit and a handful of cute pictures are enough to trust you with the solemn honor of adding another mouth to feed. Then there are the Karens of the world who recast you as head veterinarian, expert photographer, part-timer at Cat Fancy magazine, and available-on-demand therapist for her first-time pet parent anxiety. Time, boundaries, and Sunday afternoons mean nothing to this breed. If she needs a high-resolution headshot and a written analysis of the kitten’s soul, you will be delivering it before sunrise or there will be a lengthy, cryptic complaint citing “a friend who has a lot of cats.”