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Beartooth frontman Caleb Shomo was “terrified” when he came out as gay to his wife of 14 years, Fleur Shomo.
“I was just bawling my f—ing eyes out, trying so hard to verbalize,” he said on Wednesday’s episode of the “Disrespectfully” podcast hosted by “Vanderpump Rules” alums Katie Maloney and Dayna Kathan.
“And I really struggle to verbalize things, and this is obviously such an intense thing, and I’m feeling so nervous and so scared in the situation that it was really, really difficult to verbalize, and I didn’t verbalize it very well,” the 33-year-old musician continued.
Caleb said after keeping his sexuality “at bay” for so long, he had the “really difficult” conversation with Fleur where he told her that “the way that like I feel about girls, I feel about guys.”
“There’s something there that I’ve been running from for a long f—ing time. And I don’t think I want to run anymore,” ” he also recalled saying. “And yeah, then after that, the f—ng hinges got ripped out.”
Caleb explained that he was able to “stop hating myself so much” after he came out and “immediately” went to therapy, which helped him deal with his “severe ADHD.”
“I understand after a lot of life that if I’m not doing very certain things in my daily routine to keep that at bay, it’s easy for me to kind of like spiral out and go back into a hole and then just bury everything back down,” he shared. “So I was like, I’m gonna take this really f—ing seriously.”
The “Last Breath” singer said through “therapy, exercise, eating good, sunshine, good sleep and being creative,” he was able to fully come to terms with being gay.
Later in the podcast, Caleb said his “ultimate goal” in life now is to love himself and help others get to that same place, though he acknowledged he has a “long f–king road” ahead to “forgive himself.”
“I feel like I’m on the path,” he said. “I’m letting this happen. I’m not trying to rush anything. I’m not trying to force anything. It’s just one step at a time.”
Caleb came out as gay in an Instagram statement on May 23, telling fans he was “unpacking and reckoning” with his sexuality “for quite some time now.”
The musician said after he “spent a decade burying feelings with alcohol,” he made a vow to stop suppressing his feelings and gave himself grace to “experience self love.”
Fleur, who tied the knot with Caleb in 2012, wrote in her own Instagram post that supporting her husband “whilst losing everything has been incredibly hard to figure out.”
She also said being married to Caleb for 14 years has been “wonderful and full of so much fun, adventure & love.”
“I already miss it & my husband more than anything,” he added. “Our story was a good one. And now it’s done.”
Fleur and Caleb do not have any children together.
English (US)