As kids go back to school, parents need to be involved — in every way

Parents have to be vigilant about what our schools are teaching our kids, as I learned this week when my daughter came home from the start of high school with something troubling her.

Her first Advanced Placement (AP) Language assignment of the year was about listening to different perspectives, a lesson I wholeheartedly support.

The students had to watch a series of videos representing different experiences and points of view. One featured a young woman in a keffiyeh speaking about Islam as a religion of peace. Another featured a woman describing her escape from Iran.

As my daughter watched perspective after perspective, she noticed something: Not one reflected her experience as a Jewish American. At dinner that night, she told me how disappointed she was. My advice was simple: Tell your teacher.

I encouraged her not to complain or accuse, but to explain that while she appreciated being exposed to perspectives different from her own, she wondered why hers wasn’t represented.

Her teacher responded immediately and respectfully. She said she hadn’t realized the omission. When my daughter asked who selected the material, her teacher explained that the curriculum came from the school administration, not the AP program.

My daughter then asked whether she would share her concern with the administration; now, her teacher is working to make sure a Jewish-American perspective is included in the assignment.

That exchange may seem small, but it represents exactly what a parent’s role in education should be.

As we parents send our children back to school with fresh supplies and high expectations, we also need to make sure teachers, administrators and school boards are doing their jobs well.

We need to make sure that they are actually teaching our kids — not introducing politics or personal agendas into the classroom.

The stakes are too high for us to ignore what schools are actually doing.

The numbers should concern every California parent. On the state’s most recent assessments, only 48.8% of students met or exceeded the standard in English. In math, it was just 37.3%. And that was an improvement!

Think about that. In California, the home of Silicon Valley, Stanford and Caltech, fewer than four in 10 public-school students are meeting the state’s math standard.

We can and must do better. Our schools should be relentlessly focused on giving children the academic foundation they need to compete in reading, writing, mathematics, science, history and critical thinking.

And parents also need to ask another question: What exactly are our children being taught?

Schools should teach children how to think, not what to think. Our children should absolutely encounter difficult ideas. Teach them America’s extraordinary achievements and its failures. Teach slavery and the civil rights movement. Teach the Constitution. Teach capitalism and socialism. Teach the political and cultural debates shaping their world. Teach them the facts and how to examine evidence, question assumptions and hear competing perspectives.

Parents have to become participants again. Read the syllabus. Look at the books. Ask your children what they discussed that day. Attend school board meetings. Know who is making decisions about curricula so when something doesn’t make sense, you can ask questions and contact the right people. 

We also have to teach the right lessons at home.

Make the bed. Be on time. Do your homework. Look people in the eye. Say please and thank you. Put your phone away when someone is speaking. Respect your teachers.

When your child gets into trouble at school, don’t automatically assume the teacher is wrong. Sometimes our children are wrong.

I say that as a mother who has raised four children. Our instinct is to protect them, but constantly protecting children from the consequences of their own choices doesn’t prepare them for adulthood. Accountability does.

California’s schools cannot teach those lessons alone. Neither can parents. It requires a partnership in which teachers are respected, parents are heard, administrators are accountable, and children understand that the adults in their lives expect something from them.

So this back-to-school season, let’s buy the pencils and pack the lunches. Let’s also show up and ask questions, read the curriculum, support good teachers and challenge administrators when necessary. Know what your school board is doing and hold your children to the same high standards you’re demanding from their schools.

California can do better than 37% proficiency in math. But our greatest measure of success won’t be a standardized test. It will be whether we raise a generation of young men and women who are educated enough to think for themselves; disciplined enough to work for what they want without expecting free handouts; and decent enough to respect people who think differently.

Shirin Yadegar is the founder of www.lamommagazine.com and a political commentator. 

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