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3 hours ago
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I’ve always had a soft spot for pets with clever, ridiculous names. Honestly, a great name can make me fall in love with an animal before I even meet it.
I once seriously considered getting a bird, and I don’t even like birds that much, just because I thought “Chirple Rain” was too funny to waste.
So when veterinarians start sharing the wildest pet names they’ve ever seen, I’m completely locked in.
These are the kinds of names that make you laugh out loud in a waiting room and immediately respect the chaotic genius behind them.
If you appreciate a perfectly punny pet name, you’re going to love this list.
1.
My friend named her black cat Edgar Allan Purrr.
2.
Not a vet but my sister has a beta fish named Swim Shady.
3.
Not a vet, but my husband named a feral tabby cat we adopted Alt-Tab because he’d make us switch from whatever task we were working on when he wanted attention or food.
4.
Had a neighbor once who had two massive Rottweilers and allowed their young daughter to name them — Big Dog and Glitter.
6.
IANAV but a saw a poster for a missing cat named Chairman Meow.
7.
My aunt and uncle used to have a lovely white cat named Dumptruck. i miss Dumptruck.
8.
My friend used to have a cat named Chicken Salad. He currently owns a cat named Grandma.
9.
There’s a pot belly pig living next door to me… I’ve called him Notorious P.I.G.
10.
I always wanted to have an animal named peeve so I could say “this is my pet peeve”.
11.
My husband use to work at a Humane Society vet office. He was up for adoption, not in for vet care, but once a rooster came in named Cluck Norris. (This was in Reno, Nevada).
12.
My dog’s name is Bark Obama.
13.
Worked at a daycare, my favorite was “diogi” (d-o-g).
14.
Leonardo DiCatio; Zombie Apocalypse.
15.
I’m no Vet, but my wife and I adopted an adult cat who was originally named Sammy, but I wasn’t satisfied with a pet that didn’t have an 80s reference for a name so I tried for Mr. Roboto, I got vetoed on that so I went with Domo Hairy Gato instead.
Side note: I’m no longer married, but still have Domo aka The Domonater, Lord Bishop Grand Admiral Marshal of the Noms.
16.
I once had a pet emperor scorpion named Cuddles.
17. Vet tech here. Best one was a tiny little Chihuahua named “Bone Crusher.” He was owned by an amateur body builder. Guy was like 6’4″ and close to 300 lbs. Funny situation all in all.
18.
I met a cat named Maybelline at the vet which I thought was a great name because it comes with a built-in theme song. Like someone walks into the room and says, “Who knocked over the vase?” And you sing, “Maybe it’s Maybelline.”.
19.
Wanker. A terrier mix who was actually pretty cool and not a wanker in any sense. Also a blind and deaf dog named Helen Smeller.
20.
I know a dog called Askit,
So when people inquire about the dog’s name, the owner says, “Askit”.
21.
I have some friends who have a cat named Greg from Accounting.
22.
NAV, but in high school my friend had an iguana named mariguana.
23.
My cats name growing up was Edward Scissor Paws.
24.
My personal favorite is a dog named Woofgang, which inspired me to name my cat Meowzart.
25.
Vet tech here, we did a minor surgery on a cat named Bastard yesterday. Nowhere near the top but I can’t remember the ridiculous ones off the top of my head.
26.
Not a vet, but if any of the ladies from our vet place were here, they’d probably tell the story of me bringing in my sister’s cat to be spayed. And I had to look them in the eyes and tell them this tiny, buzzing calico girl was named “Batman.”
As the lady behind the counter put it, “We’ve had a couple other pets named Batman. None of them were girls, though.”
As to why her name was Batman, my sister, who was in her 30’s at the time, just insisted repeatedly that “Batman is a cool name for a girl.”.
27.
Not a vet but my hamsters are named Alexander Hamsterton and Aaron Furr.
28.
I work at a vets, we had to do a call back for advice on a cat named Ballbag.
29.
Not a Vet, but I do work with animals. We had a dog named Lunchbox. Still can’t get over that.
30.
I work at a doggie daycare. We have had a mini aussie named Crowbar, a cavalier named Chanel No. 5, and a schnoodle named Mr. Pickles. Also, one client with the last name Crowe got her dog from a shelter and kept the name they gave him, which is Jim.
Mike Primavera is a Chicago-based comedy writer even though he doesn't HAVE to work. He lives comfortably off of his family's pasta fortune. Follow him on all social media at @primawesome
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