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Nothing compares to coming home exhausted after a long day at work only to find your cat stretched across the couch looking like they’re the one who just finished a stressful 9-5. Meanwhile their hardest task of the day was knocking a pen off the table and screaming for food 20 minutes early. They’ll stare at you like they pay the bills too. The confidence is honestly inspiring.
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If cats are going to live rent-free, you’ve gotta put them to work wherever you can. Need emotional support? Congratulations, your cat now has a full-time position. Cold feet at night? Space heater. Random bug in the house? Exterminator. Box arrives from online shopping? Quality control inspector. They may not contribute financially, but at the very least they can earn their keep by being mildly useful once or twice a day. The rest of the time they’ll still be lying around like exhausted employees after doing absolutely nothing.
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Most people think they’re building careers and chasing dreams, but really we’re all just working to purrvide luxury lifestyles for our cats. We go to work, pay bills, buy groceries, and keep the house running while our cats spend the entire day sleeping in weird positions and knocking things off shelves for entertainment. Then we come home and apologize to them for being gone too long. Somehow the unemployed little fluffball becomes the head of the household while we fund their expensive wet food addiction and receive judgmental stares in return.
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10 hours ago
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English (US)