Opinion|You’re Never Too Old to Have ‘the Talk’
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/24/opinion/sex-relationships-family.html
Dec. 24, 2024, 5:01 a.m. ET
Video by Paula Sacchetta and Renan Flumian
Ms. Sacchetta is a documentary filmmaker, a screenwriter and a director. Mr. Flumian is a director, screenwriter and producer.
Most of us would probably rather die than talk with family about our sex lives. But in the Opinion video above, adult children and parents illuminate a path for having frank conversations about sex.
This film begins with all the giggly, seat-squirming cringe you might expect. But once the awkwardness subsides, the film quickly reveals something more profound: loved ones sharing real, meaningful moments from their lives. Sexuality offers life lessons about confidence, trauma and happiness. The film asks the viewer to imagine other conversations left unspoken, from family finances to death.
For several years, the Brazilian directors Paula Sacchetta and Renan Flumian have been exploring the topic of sexuality, with a short film documenting the sex lives of older people, which became a five-part series on a major streaming network in Brazil. The directors were struck by how taboo the subject of sex remains within families. The lost opportunity for intimacy saddened them.
So for the video above, they provided questions to facilitate conversation and filmed as their subjects took the plunge.
“You can change the quality of a relationship by listening to what people need to tell you,” Mr. Flumian said. “Listening is not only what you want to hear about or don’t want to hear about. Across all strong friendships and relationships, you need to be able to say hard things. You need to be there to listen.”
“When you think of family, you think about being really close to someone,” Ms. Sacchetta said. “But often, people that should be very close are actually far away. You are more likely to talk about sex with strangers.”
Paula Sacchetta (@paulasacchetta) is a documentary filmmaker, a screenwriter and a director. She directed the films “Faces of Harassment” and “Truth 12.528,” the TV series “I, Prisoner” and other projects. Renan Flumian (@renanflumian) is a director, screenwriter and producer whose work explores human connections and social themes.
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