Torturous ‘Cheek Splittler 9000’ airplane seat worries travelers about the future of flight: ‘Hostile architecture’

It’s a real plane in the butt.

An airplane passenger was taken aback after encountering a peculiar “cheek splitter” sky chair with a “perplexing” wedge bisecting the bum cushion.

“I’ve been on a lot of planes around the world, but this was a first,” exclaimed the user while describing the torture device-esque accommodation on Reddit.

“It’s to keep the homeless pilots from occupying the cockpit,” quipped one Reddit jester. Reddit / themoldyone

They were reportedly seated next to this alleged wedgie-inducing chair while flying an older Boeing 737-800.

“Perplexed” over its function, they promptly turned to Reddit for answers.

“Would anyone know the reason for this seat?” they inquired, prompting a flood of far-fetched theories from armchair air experts.

“It’s 2 seats now. For really skinny people,” quipped one, while another joked, “Oh, my, I thought it was a premium seat at first!”

The wedge seat is found in row 15 on domestic Boeing 737-800 flights operated by Japan Airlines. Reddit / themoldyone

Meanwhile, others compared the bifurcated butt pad to a Sybian, a motorized sex machine that features a vibrating, rotating saddle.

“It’s to keep the homeless pilots from occupying the cockpit,” quipped a third, referencing the “hostile architecture” installed on benches to prevent people from sleeping on them.

One Redditor correctly observed that the divider denoted that something was “broken with the seat.”

“Every airline has their own ways of showing a seat as inop[erable].” they said, before joking, “This airline decided the Cheek Splitter 9000 was the most appropriate method.”

A View From the Wing contributor Gary Leff elaborated that this “quirk of aviation safety,” found in row 15 on domestic Boeing 737-800 flights operated by Japan Airlines, denotes that said chair is “permanently out of service.”

He said that the divider is “a custom seat blocker cushion meant” to prevent people from sitting there for the foreseeable future.

Why not simply remove the seat entirely?

Leff explained that on these domestic 737-800 flights, Row 15 is the first row of coach so the aisle lacks a proper bulkhead in front. This creates a safety concern for anyone seated there as there’s nothing to brace against in the event of turbulence or other air hazard.

Instead of removing the seat and creating the same problem for the passenger behind, airlines leave the seat but mark it off-limits so it acts as a barrier.

Leff explained that the bum-blocker is preferable to a tape or placard as those warning signs could be ignored.

Not to mention that “a permanent cushion hassle than constantly checking, replacing tape,” he declared, adding that the wedge clearly signifies a condemned seat and not “deferred maintenance.”