‘The Drew Barrymore Show’: Mary J. Blige Says She Was “Suicidal” When She Made The ‘My Life’ Album

Mary J. Blige has mastered the art of loving herself — but it wasn’t always easy to get there. On this morning’s episode of The Drew Barrymore Show, the Queen of R&B opened up about feeling “suicidal” when she recorded her iconic “My Life” album more than 30 years ago.

“If you’re a Mary J. Blige fan, you know the hell that I’ve been through. And you know how much I hated myself,” she told host Drew Barrymore. “But this love that I have for myself is just — it’s the thing that I need in order to be able to love anybody or anything else. It’s the only way it works.”

The singer-songwriter, who has previously spoken about her experience with addiction and sexual abuse, is getting ready to embark on the “For My Fans” tour, which honors those who have supported her career for over three decades.

“Everything is for the fans,” she said. “They’ve helped me heal just as much as I’ve helped them heal by buying the ‘My Life’ album. I was completely suicidal on the ‘My Life’ album. But 4 million people responded and were like, ‘Mary, we’re going through [this] with you.’”

Blige said she started “choosing life” and “choosing [her] fans” following the positive response to her 1994 album.

Photo: CBS

“I think I was given this platform not to just sit on it and die with all this trauma,” she said. “It was to reach out to someone else and say, ‘Me too. I’m going through it.’ When those 4 million fans bought the ‘My Life’ album, which when I started to open up, that’s the reason why I ended up opening up — because someone else needed it.”

The star added that the album was also “therapeutic” for her.

The Drew Barrymore Show airs on weekdays on CBS. You can check the website for local airtimes.

If you or someone you know are experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 988.