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Shane Gillis took a bite out of sports’ biggest names during his opening monologue at Wednesday night’s ESPY Awards.
And it was a real sign of cultural health.
The performance felt like an infusion of wheatgrass — cleansing out the residual crud left over from more than a decade of hyper-political correctness.
The comedian went after everyone, slaughtering sacred cows on both sides of the political aisle and from all sensibilities. He mocked Shedeur Sanders’ nepotism, Simone Biles’ height, Aaron Rodgers’ vaccine resistance, Shohei Ohtani’s gambling scandal, the WNBA and professional girlfriend Jordon Hudson. Even Caitlin Clark made it into some zesty one-liners.
And then there was Donald Trump, whose Hall of Fame-worthy way of inserting himself into nearly every big sports moment made him a prime target. Gillis’ line about an Epstein joke getting deleted from his script was aimed at the current administration.
“Probably never existed actually, let’s move on as a country and ignore that,” Gillis said.
Right out of the gate, the comedian made clear that there would be no genuflecting when he name-dropped one of the most insufferable athletes of our time.
“Megan Rapinoe could not make it tonight,” he said before adding: “Nice.”
When only a few chuckled, he quipped, “No? We’re going to pretend she’s a good time? All right.”
This night of irreverence felt especially poignant because the sports world, judging from its stony-faced reactions, seems to have not made it through our country’s so-called vibe shift without serious PTSD.
As Gillis dropped gem after gem, the audience offered restrained feedback — lest they were caught giggling at anyone’s expense.
And for the viewers at home, it was also a litmus test: If you were offended by the jokes about the WNBA or Trump, perhaps you’re too entrenched in your chosen echo chamber.
Remove the stick from your bottom.
That goes for former ESPN personality Sarah Spain, who whinged on behalf of the more-progressive-than-thou set, writing on X: “In a year of crazy growth for women’s sports choosing an ESPYs host who doesn’t even try to make clever jokes about women athletes (he at least *attempted* for the men) he goes with hacky ‘no one knows the WNBA’ bits, ‘Pinoe is a bad time’ & repeatedly insults Black women. COOL.”
A piece in New York Magazine’s The Cut read, “Who Let Shane Gillis Talk about the WNBA?” — as if it’s a precious entity that should be bubble-wrapped.
Admittedly, I’m a massive fan of most anything Gillis does.The Pennsylvania native is wildly funny because of his relatability and everyman humor. There’s a lightness to his barbs; he is laughing along with you and critiquing himself in real time. He even kept a running commentary about the finicky reception.
“This is not serious,” he quipped during a particularly stingy moment from the audience.
Gillis has never shied away from third-rail subjects like race in sports (see his Alabama football desegregation bit) and joked that he and Clark have a lot in common.
“We’re both whites from the Midwest who have nailed a bunch of 3s,” he said. “When Caitlin Clark retires from the WNBA, she’s going to work at a Waffle House so she can continue doing what she loves most — fist-fighting black women.”
Then he went in on Trump, saying the president knows nothing about sports.
“Every time a team comes to visit the White House, he’s like, ‘And you must be the guy who catches. Look at these guys, big guys, black guys.’
“And that’s just when the New York Liberty visited.
“They didn’t visit. That’s just a joke.”
Then came the finest moment of the night, when the audience told on themselves.
“Four-time WNBA All-Star Brittany Hicks is here. Everybody, give it up for Brittany,” Gillis said as the camera panned to an attractive black woman in a pink dress.
And cheers erupted — pandering cheers, it turns out.
“I’m joking around, that’s my friend’s wife,” Gillis revealed. “I knew none of you knew WNBA players. That’s crazy you clapped for that.”
Hicks was clearly the best sport of the night.
The show wasn’t a convention of accountants. It was a gathering of the top athletes and other figures in sports. If anyone should know a four-time WNBA All-Star, it’s the people in this room. But they’ve been conditioned to reflexively celebrate women just because they’re women.
It makes them feel like good people.
Gillis finished with a nod to the late Norm Macdonald, whose brilliant hosting job at the 1998 ESPYs left us all so uncomfortable in the best way — an auspicious sign that the good guys are winning.
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