NYC used to be the fashion capital of the world — now you can hardly find a decent clothing store

It’s time for class to return

New York, New York. Once, a helluva town. The prices stay up but the merchandise is down.

Days of old, need shmattas for a wedding, confirmation, bar mitzvah, divorce settlement, you’d just walk in the West 30s and see dudes pushing racks of dresses, coats, suits. Shove names like Gucci, Valentino, Chanel, Dior. That Seventh Avenue chunk was Fashion Alley.

So busy that — amble by in your own outfit — some rack-pusher could’ve even hustled it right off your behind to resell to a pushcart in Venezuela. These movable racks had clothes, shoes, sprinkles, feathers, fashion, flowers — many Washington, DC, thieves ago — that was then IT!

Not now. Sayonara. Products aren’t in stores. Why? Because there aren’t many stores. Because shops aren’t paying their bills. Saturation was luxury clientele. Now they’re not buying what they did.

Handbags? Meh

“Handbags do not always enthuse luxury spenders. Chanel, Gucci, Balenciaga, Valentino, Dior changed their top designers. Sales are down. Money’s down. The look is down. Revenue is from a wearable look. That’s what’s notable. But look at what’s wearable today,” so says a designer who formerly dressed the Oscars and Tonys. “Small brands are even affected. Tees made in China, Vietnam, Uruguay. It’s scary. Fashion’s not unique, not special, not wanted in the big time. No reason for the consumer to shop.

“VIP society has become casual. Jeans for a thousand dollars? Chanel shirt to go with the jeans — $1,200.

“And European runway garbage isn’t wearable. Theirs is your crotch hanging out, butt crack visible, breasts grabbable, designers making your navel into a small potted plant growing feathers.

“The onetime personal shopper’s been poached. That bar mitzvah or top-of-the-line wedding shopper who went to your home with carte blanche so you needn’t suffer dressing room tryouts has switched to everyday Nordstroms. Once the prevail of Saks 5th, Neimans, those high-priced, nose-up-your-behind salespeople who’d hand-carry original Paris creations to a VIP? Gone. Kaput.”

Stores closing. The new generation wears garbage. Fast fashion. Guys do T-shirts. Stomachs hang out. Chopped tops, cutoff jeans. They’ll spend on food and experiences — not clothing. It’s only to look hot on Instagram or TikTok. You have to give consumers a reason to buy. Canadians no longer come. Chinese are buying less. Europeans are down in terms of shopping here. Luxury people aren’t customers anymore. Stores are going out of business.

No one has style

I was in Due restaurant the other night. Throats were in pasta. Behinds were in jeans.

Watch, French billionaire Bernard Arnault who already owns LVMH, Dior, Bulgari, Givenchy, Fendi, Tiffany, Celine, Kenzo, Marc Jacobs, Pucci, Loro Piana, Loewe, Guerlain, Sephora, plus another stock of stores, and already owns 57th and 5th’s three most famous corners . . . watch. Just watch. WATCH. He’ll grab Bergdorf’s next.

With shmattas’ hem lengths today, if a female wants her appendix taken out and doesn’t want it to show, they’ll have to remove it through her nose.

And not only in New York, kids, not only in New York.