Justin Trudeau is embarrassing himself with his Katy Perry relationship

It’s the stuff of a $1 romance novel that’s only available on Kindle.

Last week, a video dropped of former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau dancing like a fool in the aisle of a Montreal hardware store with girlfriend Katy Perry while holding a plunger.

Have you ever read a more surreal or nonsensical string of words in your life?

Well, that’s what actually happened. For we live in a surreal and nonsensical world.

I’ve stayed silent for a year, but their true patriot love has become more than I can bear.

Trudeau’s cringeworthy retail jam session is no less bizarre, really, than Tom Cruise wildly jumping on Oprah’s couch 21 years ago to proclaim his love for another Katie.

Except Cruise is a Hollywood actor. They’re all loons. Prettyboy Trudeau, despite obviously craving the glamorous trappings of celebrity, is a former world leader who still desires to be taken seriously.

Proving it, four days after he cut the rug with a toilet tool for an Instagram video, suddenly serious Trudeau spoke to news outlets about the ongoing trade negotiations between Canada and the US. He insisted they “will get to the right place.”

But who’s going to listen to the guy who’s so very publicly living his teenage dream?   

Fifty-four-year-old Trudeau, who led his country for a decade before resigning last year, and the 41-year-old “I Kissed A Girl” singer have been Canada canoodling since last July. 

Trudeau separated from his wife of 18 years, Sophie Grégoire Trudeau, with whom he shares three kids, in 2023. And Perry split from fiancé Orlando Bloom in June 2025. They have a daughter. One month later, she was all aboot Justin.

Right away, he was seen googly-eyed and singing along to “Firework” at Perry’s Montreal concert. 

That was strange, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt at the time. With just 21.5% approving of Trudeau’s Liberal Party by the end of his run, I’m sure he was feeling like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind, wanting to start again.

Around then, a source told People of the duo, “They have a lot in common.”

That’s an allegation so alarming that Trudeau should’ve disclosed it before running for office. 

In the months to follow, there were sightings galore. The pair was spotted kissing on Perry’s yacht off the coast of Santa Barbara, Calif. And they jetted to Paris for her 41st birthday. They lounged on a boat in Mykonos and got scantily clad in Saint-Tropez. They go on ski trips and post cutesy selfies. They’re addicted to being seen.

One appearance was not like the others, though: An official looking meet-up with former Japanese Prime Minister Fumio Kishida and his wife. The quartet posed for a stiff, ceremonial photo and Trudeau tweeted, “Katy and I were so glad to have the chance to sit down with you and Yuko.” 

Social media users were furious over Perry’s “inappropriate” attire.

The pop star also joined him in Davos at the World Economic Forum in January.

Weird. It all has a whiff of Wallis Simpson to it.

This spring, the couple came to New York for the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of Perry’s concert movie “Katy Perry: The Lifetimes Tour — Live from Paris,” where, a source told Page Six, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.

On the red carpet, Trudeau told “Entertainment Tonight” that while he had indeed attended the gig, he was too smitten to notice much of it.

“I saw the show three times, but I wasn’t really paying attention to anything but Katy,” he said. “So I’m looking forward to seeing the show now for the first time.”

Could you imagine Bill Clinton saying such a thing? Wait — don’t answer that.

I can’t speak to Canadian precedent (though I’m pretty sure Stephen Harper isn’t dating Sabrina Carpenter), but US presidents tend to keep a dignified low profile in post-West Wing life while still making an impact.

Richard Nixon was an informal foreign policy advisor to several commanders-in-chief. Jimmy Carter became a noted humanitarian. George H.W. Bush and Clinton combined forces to raise money for victims of natural disasters. Barack Obama is a Hollywood producer. 

Actually, hold on, scratch that last one.

But I keep coming back to tunnel-visioned Trudeau’s red carpet quote: “I wasn’t really paying attention to anything but Katy.” 

Certainly seems that way.

Trade talks between the US and Canada, which he said would “get to the right place,” dramatically collapsed on Saturday — the same day new 50% tariffs took effect.

But, fear not, Justin and Katy are still going strong!