1 hour ago
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Dogs
Blythe gets very excited if she sees a small dog on the street and will yell, “LOOK AT THAT SMALL DOG!” Just worth knowing.
Toys
Blythe’s favorite toys are Computer, Book About Trees, Other Book About Trees, and TV (she is currently watching season five of “ER”). If you catch her online shopping for hundred-and-fifty-dollar vintage Fleetwood Mac shirts just very firmly say, “Drop it.”
Evening Routine
At night, Blythe will declare, “I’m not brushing my teeth, I’m too tired!” If you calmly reply, “O.K., I’m going to brush my teeth, though,” she will brush her teeth as a result of peer pressure. You can give her a CBD bedtime treat but if she eats it, she will probably start saying stuff like, “Water is actually crazy, right?”
Triggers
Blythe is justifiably afraid of thunderstorms after eight years of living in a rent-stabilized apartment with a porous roof. If there is a weather event, just put on an episode of “ER” and turn the volume way up.
Shoes
If you leave your shoes out, Blythe will likely pick them up and say, “Oh, my God, these are so cute. Where did you get them?” and then buy the exact same pair.
Allergies
Blythe is allergic to penicillin. She might say “supposedly” or “Let’s see if that’s still true”—don’t listen to her. Also, if Blythe eats a grape she will die.
In Case of Emergency
There’s a CityMD a couple blocks away, and a bunch of different pills all mixed up in the medicine cabinet. With most of Blythe’s health issues, I’ve found that she’ll calm down if you encourage her to make a calendar event for one month from now titled, “Do I have botulism yet?” and tell her not to worry about it until then. If something truly bad happens, for some reason, her emergency contact is her mom who lives sixteen hours away.
That should be it! I’ll be pretty busy during all five days of the Gangster Movies Starring Robert De Niro Film Festival for Boyfriends, but I will be available via text if you have any questions. Please send me any cute photos you take of Blythe drinking water. If you need Blythe to come over to you at any time simply hold up your phone and say, “Look at this meme.” ♦
English (US)