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Three years after Hayden Panettiere's younger brother Jansen Panettiere died suddenly, the This Is Me: A Reckoning author shared insight into her guilt in its aftermath during an E! News interview.
Hayden Panettiere Details Bleeding Out, Almost Dying During Childbirth
Hayden Panettiere is looking back at a devastating chapter in her life.
Three years after the Heroes alum's brother Jansen Panettiere died suddenly at age 28, she reflected on navigating her grief as an older sister.
"It's all the time," Hayden said of her grief during an exclusive interview with E! News. "It just evolves, especially with a sibling and being the older sibling. You're just riddled with guilt that you didn't do your job."
"I miss him all the time," she said. "I didn't think I would have to do life without him, but I'm grateful that I had the time I had with him."
Following Jansen's death in February 2023, the Panettiere family told E! News in a statement, "Though it offers little solace, the Medical Examiner reported Jansen's sudden passing was due to cardiomegaly (enlarged heart), coupled with aortic valve complications."
As Hayden, 36, wrote her memoir This Is Me: A Reckoning, out May 19, she admitted that the most difficult chapter to write was about Jansen.
While sharing insight into the end of his life, Hayden—who had detailed her own sobriety journey—felt guilty while looking back at her younger brother's struggles with substance abuse.
"I, of all people, should have understood," Hayden shared in her E! interview, but she added, "you can't help somebody who doesn't want to help themselves. It's just a sad fact."
Although Jansen's death left the actress reeling—previously sharing that she had developed agoraphobia amid her grief—she has continued to focus on keeping his memory alive.
"He was an incredible artist," she explained. "My favorite thing that I have is his paintings. I feel like he's so alive in those paintings, like that part of him is immortalized because of the part of himself that he put into his art."
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And the I Love You, Beth Cooper actress—who shares 11-year-old daughter Kaya with ex-fiancé Wladimir Klitschko—has prioritized her mental health, too.
"I do have a great therapist, but I'm always checking in with myself," she shared, "being self-aware, being surrounded by healthy people who bring out the best in me, just trying to keep in touch with myself and what's going on."
That also includes setting personal boundaries.
"I had no idea that you could say no for a very, very long time," she admitted. "I'm an empath, so if I make somebody feel uncomfortable or disappointed or upset, I feel it myself. I don't want to let anybody down. But now I'm putting up more personal boundaries."
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