Erewhon and Function drop the ‘world’s healthiest smoothie’

Move over Hailey Bieber — there’s a new $25 status symbol hitting the shelves at Erewhon — and this one claims to have the data to back it up.

The cult-favorite grocer is teaming up with high-tech wellness startup Function to launch “The World’s Healthiest Smoothie?” a yearlong collab that aims to rethink what “healthy” actually means.

Starting today, the drink will be available in glass bottles at all SoCal Erewhon locations through February 2027. The smoothie isn’t just another super food blend, creators told The California Post.

It’s a “biohacker in a bottle” designed by Function co-founder and longevity expert Dr. Mark Hyman to target real nutritional gaps observed across Function’s massive database of members. According to the company, more than 65% of members fall outside the optimal range for fasting insulin, and 54% show elevated Apolipoprotein B levels, a key marker for cardiovascular health.

In response, the companies whipped up a 20-ingredient, meal-replacement style blend designed to target microbiome health, inflammation balance, blood sugar stability and metabolic function.

The smoothie skips the “aesthetic-only” superfoods and shortcuts in favor of purpose-driven ingredients. The heavy-hitting list includes: unsweetened almond milk, flax and chia seeds, green banana, wild blueberries, pomegranate, cranberry, arugula, fresh herbs, walnuts, cold-pressed beet juice, ginger, Ceylon cinnamon, MCT oil, blended omega oils, BCAAs, creatine and a single-ingredient plant protein derived from chocho beans grown high in the Andes.

In an industry built on superfood hype and one-size-fits-all claims, Function co-founder and CEO Jonathan Swerdlin says it’s time for a reality check.

“This isn’t about one more product on a shelf,” said Swerdlin. “We are challenging the idea that ‘healthy’ can be reduced to a label.”

“No shortcuts,” the company promises.

The smoothie comes with a QR code dangling from each bottle, offering buyers $25 off a Function membership. The pitch? Don’t just drink your health — measure it.