‘Come Together!’: Semen tree season is back in full swing

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Every time I broach this subject, there is undoubtedly some dude-bro in the group who has the audacity to say “But how do you know what jizz smells like?”

It’s like sir, we were all 15 years old at one point, locking our doors and watching the Blue Crush DVD. I’m now 36. I’d be worried if I didn’t know what jizz smelt like.

That being said, sense memory doesn’t mess around. As soon as spring hits and those trees start to bloom, I’m back in high school making Rascal Flatts mix CDs and trying to finger that girl Miranda in the back of her dad’s car.