Class is in session, folks — let’s study up on our Amendments

Studying up on governing

We’ve covered July Fourth’s Declaration of Independence. Now we get to the Constitution of the United States, and today we study the Amendments.

First Amendment: “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the power of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” It means shove off and stay away from temples and synagogues.

Second Amendment: “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.” In other words: “Touch us, buddy and we will annihilate the crap out of you.”

Seventh Amendment: “Where the value in controversy should exceed $20, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved.” Meaning: Maye Musk’s son can sue to protect his crowds of children and their billions.

Eighth Amendment: “Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.” It means no rough treatment from jailers, bailers or failures.

Twelfth Amendment: “President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and the House of Representatives, open all the certificates and the votes shall then be counted.”

Fourteenth Amendment: “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside.” Section 4, in part: “Neither the United States nor any state shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States . . . but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void.”

Sixteenth Amendment: “The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived . . . without regard to any census or enumeration.”

In other words: Stop already with the taxes and impoverishing us — whereby with just the price of a slice of bread today, you could have the down payment for a ­Ferrari.

Gems in Brooklyn

New play, “The Whole Sky All Diamonds,” is set inside a tech company. Romance. Betrayal. Heartbreak. All that and a water cooler. Inspired by that has-been Anton Chekhov.

Playwright Bixby Elliot says: “It changes nightly depending on who you decide to stalk through the office. Basically, come for the tech satire, stay because you’ve accidentally fallen in love with a fictional software engineer.”

Immersive, audience participation, choose-your-own-adventure and so far off-Broadway it’s in Brooklyn.

“This is a play you step into,” says Elliot. “Follow Mickey and you’ll get one story. Follow Dara and you’ll get a completely different, possibly more emotionally devastating one.”

Running Aug. 12 to 22, at 7:30 p.m. At Loft Story on Manhattan Avenue in Greenpoint. Try and find it.

Office expense

A NOTE: Biden’s living large. Pelosi’s got millions. A few reps are doing well financially. Kamala seems OK. Kamala’s husband seems OK. Is it just that the people of the United States are the ones hungry and can’t afford food?

ASK one bankrupt debtor why he went broke — and he’ll answer: “I hate to owe money.”

NOT only in New York, kids, not only in New York.