Bomber pilot spills on what it’s like to fly a mission: ‘No time to be afraid’

Dropping bombs ain’t easy

Brigadier Gen. Robert Spalding, world-class bomber pilot, on how an airplane drops a 30,000-pound bomb.

The General: “Drop anything that heavy, the airplane jumps. Drop two, it jumps twice. Big jump. The plane suddenly goes up several hundred feet. You can feel them coming off.”

Is there some fear for the pilot?

“No. You’re focused on the mission. No time to be afraid. Many things to focus on: the mission, going through enemy territory, be sure you hit your time correctly, do whatever the plane needs, navigate to the location. No time to think of being afraid.

“We’ve practiced this over a decade. The weapon was designed specifically for the B-2 bomb bay. Only aircraft to get across the target. Couldn’t make bombs bigger. Didn’t want smaller. Had to consider the different type of ground soil, construction, what they’d have to go through to detonate. Hard engineering. Then practice submission. Drop them on simulated targets with essentially the same composition.

“Such practice that it was almost like a milk run. It’s why our air force is so impressive as an organization.

High-level crews

“Always two pilots. Over enemy territory it’s high-level crews. Six, seven air refuels. Each takes a half hour. Both pilots are alert when that happens.

“I’ve had more scares in civilian life. Like landing with an engine out. It’s don’t panic, don’t stall the airplane — people afraid kill themselves. They want to stay away from the ground, so they stall their airplane and crash. You must keep your wits about you. You can get into more trouble if you don’t sleep with your own wife.

“Hours of boredom flying, the problem is staying awake. It’s close quarters for 36 hours. Nerve wracking. Minutes of terror.”

What about sleeping, eating, going to the john?

“That’s to the left of the hatch. Chemical toilet. Don’t pee there because it’ll overflow in a 36-hour mission. You just collect empty cans of beer. Not finest thing in the world, not very comfortable but it is functional.

“These planes are difficult to detect. No tail. It’s almost like a line in the sky.”

So when a brigadier general is not brigadiering, does he do mundane things like going to the supermarket?

“Absolutely. Officers get into trouble because they don’t drive their own cars, spend their own money, sleep with their own wives. Do all that and you’ll be fine.”

Ever been scared?

“Yeah. Of my wife.”

Higher learning

Applicant — whose previous choice was where they taught him to write on walls in Latin — applied to a new college with button-down windows: He asked: “What are your courses?” Dean: “Quantitative chemistry, philosophy, contemporary anthropology, abnormal psychology.” Applicant: “Wait a minute. I don’t know how to read yet.” Dean: “Oh, another football player.”