30 Funniest Tweets Of All Time From Tuesday (June 2, 2026)

10 hours ago 3

It’s Tuesday. I went to the grocery store this morning for one thing and came out with eleven things, none of which was the one thing I went in for. I stood in the parking lot for a second, considering going back in, but I knew I wasn’t about to do that. Then I went home.

The sun came up, people went to work, someone somewhere had the best day of their life, and in between all of that completely ordinary stuff, a bunch of people opened Twitter and said something that made me laugh.

Here are the funniest tweets from today.

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Able to leave work early if your heart is pure and full of whimsy.

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Adultery sounds like something george w bush would have said if he was talking about growing up.

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*inventing italics* What if the letters looked like they were a little drunk.

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Food and drinks consumed in a movie theater doesn’t really go into your body, it goes into your movi.

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Man with a beard and glasses tweeting about Velcro and hooks on a blue background.

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Person holding a fish in a transparent container with a pressure gauge.

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*23 minutes later I finally look up at the waiter* ok, that's enough pepper.

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Cake with candles on top, lit and arranged creatively.

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A colorful industrial piping system with various pipes and valves in a large facility.

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I don’t like being asked ‘Are you at home?’ please give me more context so I actually know whether I.

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TSA humor about bringing a rotisserie chicken in a clear container.

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