30 Funniest Tweets Of All Time From Friday (July 31, 2026)

13 hours ago 4

Today’s a packed one on the calendar, National Avocado Day, National Mutt Day, and somehow a full slate of tweets about grocery store etiquette and diarrhea lettuce bugs, which feels about right for Friday.

Someone’s out here refusing to drink water just to keep a horse company. Someone else got legitimately concerned that people stopped using frozen peas as ice packs. A six-year-old asked his dad to lie next to him so he wouldn’t have to fall asleep alone, then immediately roasted him for breathing too loud. None of it makes sense together, and all of it made me laugh.

These are the funniest tweets from Friday, July 31, 2026.

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Man in glasses and white turtleneck holding a glass of white wine.

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she asked if ive seen the odyssey and I told her I odyssey them.

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Group of people holding a long newspaper in a room, some looking tired or upset.

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Tweet about a 6-year-old asking to lie next to him and a funny reply about breathing.

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A large, black, cartoonish hammer hanging from the ceiling in a room.

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A meme with a dialogue about choosing a place to eat, featuring a scene from Star Wars.

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Tank labeled 'Liquid Oxygen' with 'No Smoking' sign behind a chain-link fence.

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Man at pharmacy looks surprised after being told his script isn't ready.

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