I always feel a little weird opening the fridge at someone else’s house, even when they tell me to grab whatever I want. That’s a lot of freedom. Usually I just stand there with the door open until I give up and go back to where I was sitting.
The longer you hang out at somebody’s house, though, the more you learn about how their kitchen works. Sometimes it’s something harmless, like finding out they keep the mugs in a drawer. Other times you’re halfway through dinner when you see something that makes you wish you brought your own food.
People on Reddit shared the weirdest kitchen habits they’ve witnessed in other people’s homes. I’d have questions about many of these, but I’d probably save them for the car ride home. Or Reddit.
1. The fridge that was ready for exactly one thing
I opened a friend’s fridge and it contained 30–40 cans of whipped cream and NOTHING ELSE. Family of three.
2. The party hosts who took “wine blend” literally
I had an acquaintance whose place I went to a couple of times for parties. On both occasions, they brought out a blender to blend wine. I think one time I just saw them blend a single bottle, but another time they blended two bottles together. I think they fundamentally misunderstood what it meant to “blend wines” and thought that it involved the appliance. I was absolutely gobsmacked but didn’t know them well enough to feel comfortable asking them why they did it.
3. The guy who skipped the knife block
Knew a guy who kept his chef’s knives stabbed into the wall.
4. The dinner where everyone’s leftovers went to the same place
A friend of mine when I was growing up had me over for family dinner. We were served spaghetti. When everyone (five or six of us) was done, the mom scraped all of the uneaten spaghetti on everyone’s plate back into the big pot.
5. The dad with an entire wall of Coke and a separate policy for guests
The dad of a guy I went out with in high school had, I swear, an entire wall stacked with Coca-Cola 12-packs. Must have been 8 by 8 feet. No one was allowed to drink any of the cans except for him. If we wanted Coke, we had to drink from the stale 2-liter bottle in the fridge.
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6. The roommate with a yogurt drawer and no interest in explaining it
I had a roommate I didn’t know well. We kind of ignored each other, and I didn’t want to ask too many questions. She kept six peach yogurt cups in a drawer in the kitchen (not in the fridge). I never saw her use any of them. One day, her boyfriend came over and found them. He asked why she had yogurt in a drawer, and she got kind of upset and told him to just put them back and leave them alone. After that, I was even more curious but even more afraid to ask.
7. The potatoes that got a little too clean
I watched my coworker wash his potatoes with dish soap. He squirted the soap straight onto the potato, rubbed it all over with his bare hands, rinsed it, and started chopping it. Then he threw the chopped, unpeeled, and soapy potatoes into a pot. He boiled them, mashed them without adding anything to them, then, for some reason, picked the skin out of the pot of mashed potatoes with his bare hands. No milk, cream, butter, salt, or anything. Tasted like a sad, soapy pile of compost.
8. The family that treated ice like a luxury item
Growing up, I used to go to this one friend’s house almost every day after school. This was a middle-class family who made a decent amount of money. Her parents let us have however much soda we wanted, but it was always the off-brand cola ONLY that was stored in the garage. I live in the desert, so imagine walking home in 110 degrees in the summer and cracking a 90-degree cola. YUCK.
Finally I was like, “Yo, you have an ice machine in your fridge. Can we please have some ice?” For the longest time she’d tell me, “No, my parents told me ice is too expensive.”
Eventually she let me use their precious ice, but I had to drink from their red Solo cups, which the entire family REUSED. Once, they even flipped out on their maids because they threw away the dirty Solo cups. That house was so weird.
9. The husband who put the freezer in charge of doing dishes
My husband has a habit of just putting used utensils in the freezer. Not washed, just licked clean (sometimes). He says the freezer “kills” the bacteria and he can reuse them as many times as he wants.
10. The cook with a very specific dress code
I worked with someone who told me that if she ever cooks and bakes for other people, she will strip down to her underwear to avoid cross-contamination of dog hair or other linty bits from her clothes.
11. The dad who reached into the silverware drawer for cleanup duty
My childhood dog would poop inside, and if it was…not solid, my dad would use a spoon to clean it up. Not a designated spoon that was the dog-poop spoon, just a regular spoon from the cutlery drawer. I did not discover this until he had been doing this for years. I was HORRIFIED and furious. When I told him it was disgusting, he got so defensive and said, “Well, how would you like me to clean it up?” I then listed many different ways to clean dog poop. My mom also didn’t seem too concerned with it.
I refused to use their cutlery until they no longer had any dogs and they had bought a new set. And quite frankly, I try to avoid eating there as much as possible because I have no idea what else my parents think is normal.
12. The uncooked chicken that already had visitors
My uncle left raw chicken out on the counter for who knows how long, and it was covered in ants. I let him know. He rinsed the ants off and put the chicken back in the fridge.
13. The woman who took a shortcut with the flour
Taking raw chicken and putting it directly in her flour canister to cover with flour to fry. I am still horrified years later.
14. The guy who found out how long a wooden spoon can last
I knew a guy who thought you were meant to throw out wooden spoons after each use. He’d spend so much money on them. When we told him you could reuse them, his mind was blown.
15. The neighbors whose dessert came with a little bit of dinner
My neighbors had to finish their plates completely, and I mean licked clean, because the dessert yogurt would be poured onto the used plates. It was so gross having yogurt with a bite of potato. It is still a running gag with my family.
16. The spaghetti sauce that was apparently too spicy
My ex-father-in-law thought traditional spaghetti with meat sauce was too “spicy,” so he would make noodles and top them with ground beef and ketchup.
17. The roommate who gave yesterday’s coffee another shot
My old roommate would take a coffee cup from the night before with old coffee and milk in it and make a new one in the morning without dumping the old coffee out first.
18. The family where a glass of milk was mandatory
I was friends with a family who had six kids. The parents made everyone drink a full glass of milk with every meal, including guests. They would set out a gallon of milk on the table at each meal, and it would just sit there until it was all gone, even if it took longer than one meal. I’ve always hated drinking milk, but those experiences really finished it off for me.
19. The missing dishes that were all in one room
My husband’s old roommate used to take a new dish every time he ate something and then leave it behind in his room instead of putting it in the dishwasher. One day, it occurred to my husband that there were like five dishes left in the kitchen, and the rest were nowhere to be found until he looked in said roommate’s room and found his moldy hoard.
20. The friend who drew the line at dish soap
I have this friend, a grown adult male, who doesn’t wash his dishes with soap. I realized this after I had already eaten at his house several times. We were talking in his kitchen one day, and I watched him start washing a pan. He rinsed the food off with water and just put it up to dry?? Then, later on, he was at my house and yelled at me for washing a pan he had given me with soap. He was apparently scared I was going to take off the finish or something.
21. The roommate who was in no hurry to boil water
After college, I had a roommate who said the best way to boil water was a “slow boil.” He insisted on using low heat.
22. The meal prep invitation that was easy to turn down
She cut up raw meat using her bare hands, then opened drawers, cabinets, and the fridge before washing her hands. When she asked if I wanted to do weekly meal prep with her, I politely declined.
23. The host who always had an old lemon to offer
I know someone who throws away almost nothing. This wouldn’t be a terrible habit if it didn’t mean offering you the moldy lemon that has been sitting on the counter for who knows how long because she refuses to just cut a new lemon. Also tomatoes, peppers, anything. I try not to eat there. She is very well off but has this hoarder mindset, especially around food. Also, she refuses to use chef’s knives and cooks exclusively with steak knives.
24. The family with two kitchens that still washed everything by hand
I knew a family who had two full kitchens, yet they used the dishwasher to store bakeware. Everyone had to wash dishes by hand instead. I get it if you’re short on storage or don’t have a dishwasher, but space was not an issue here.
25. The dishcloth that worked exactly one shift
Their dishcloth was used only once. They did the dishes, wiped down the stove top, counters, and cupboard fronts, then threw it in the bin and got a new one. Must cost a lot.
26. The cabinets that had to stay open whenever the microwave ran
My mother-in-law insists on keeping cabinet doors above the microwave open. Why, you ask? So the heat doesn’t build up in the cabinet and start a fire.
Nate is a writer and stand-up comedian living in Chicago. He enjoys finding the internet’s funniest corners so you don’t have to.